The Wannabe Griswolds

On the seventh day of Christmas...

BPOV

After the bus dropped us off at the Cullen house, we stopped at the edge of the driveway. Everything looked too.. eerie. The once cheerful two-story Victorian house that looked just fine yesterday, didn't today. All because of the date, December 12, 2010. There was no music playing and no movement anywhere. Carlisle and Esme's car were there, but they were not.

I looked at the others, who were having similar feelings. Emmett's eyes were frantically looking all over the place, as if someone were going to jump out from behind something. Rosalie was impassive as usual; checking her nails, but I could see a small hint of fear. She knew what we were up against from the stories we'd told her. She as well as Jasper didn't believe us, but I think they were starting to right now.

Alice and Jasper seemed to be doing fine, except for the fact it looked like he was trying to protect her from an unknown force. I shook my head. No one would be safe. Not until these last couple days have passed.

I finally turned to Edward and saw him looking at me. I sent him a wink and I got my favorite- just for me- crooked grin.

I sighed, step forward and turned around to face them.

“This year we are more prepared than ever before. We know what to expect how to handle any direction or problem that comes our way. Most importantly there will be absolutely no crying in panic.” I looked at Emmett as I said it.

He had panicked because he bought the wrong lights for Esme. She's very... picky when it comes to the brand and color of the lights. If they are not perfect she'll throw them away, even if they are brand new, and buy new ones. But it had been Emmett's fourth trip to the store and he had kept buying the wrong ones.

When Esme saw, you could see steam empty from her ears. That was the first time I'd gotten scared of Esme Cullen. She'd yanked the box of lights out of Emmett's hand, muttering furiously and got in her car. I assumed get the lights she'd needed.

Another mishap happened later that day, but it was then that we noticed we could save ourselves from the terror. If we distracted her with something exciting or something that was going as planned; she forgot. If she remembered, we'd already had the problem fixed. It would seem like she was imagining things.

Emmett tried to give me a glare, but I saw his eyes water and lips trembled before he dug his head into Rosalie's stomach.

“This year we have plans and alternate plans if they go awry. Also, you'll have a first aid kit near you at all times.” With my clumsiness and all these lights that had to be put up, we needed all the first aid we could get.

“Now, are you all ready? Because once we're in, there is no way out. Not once they get started,” I said as I looked into each of their faces. They all looked determined and the fear I saw earlier was now gone. I received nods in acknowledgement.

“Let's move.”

We started walking up the short driveway to the house. I remembered that Carlisle and Esme hadn't always been like this. They would decorate the same as anyone else would do, but that changed when the freakin' Newtons started to up their decoration and started making it a competition. That was everyone, including Esme found out that Carlisle had a very big competitive side.

I still to this day, don't know what caused Esme to change. Honestly, I'm afraid to find out.

We were about to step onto the front porch when the garage door opened suddenly surrounding us with loud Christmas music. I instantly covered my ears in an effort to drown out the loud noise.

“What the hell?!” I heard Emmett exclaim. We ran to the garage only to slowly back out the way we came. It was too scary to be that close. I couldn't believe my eyes. It had never been this bad before.

Once the garage door reached the top, and the dry ice smoke faded away, we saw Esme and Carlisle making their way towards us. In matching costumes... with extras draped over their arms for us.

Carlisle was fully dressed in a full Santa costume, minus the giant belly and fake beard. He didn't look insane... yet. One could only hope that this mood lasts a while.

“Isn't this wonderful?” Esme exclaimed, twirling in her velvety red, Mrs. Claus dress. “I couldn't believe the sale price for the family costumes. It was such a steal,” she said giggling her way over to us and passing out the costumes. I was starting to wonder if she'd already had her 'happy hour' drinks.

“Aww Mom! Do I have to? It completely goes against my fashion sense to wear this. How about I wear it on Christmas?” Alice asked hopefully. I can't believe that she is trying to get only herself out of this dressing torture.

“Nope, you are all wearing it today.” We groaned unanimously. “Oh save it, it's not a big deal. Go inside and change. I want you all out here in no more than ten minutes. Move it!” We scrambled up the porch steps and inside the house.

I was not going to be the one that pissed her off this early.

Edward and I headed into his room to change. Once there, we finally took in our costumes.

It seemed that she wanted us to be the younger version of her and Carlisle.

“Is she serious?” I heard Edward mutter. I turned around and instantly started drooling. He had already taken off his pants and shirt and was beginning to put on the Santa pants. Which left me with a good view of the stomach muscles I loved to lick and caress.

I heard Edward chuckle and remembered I was staring. I blushed turning away to start getting dressed.

“See something you like, Love?” he asked smugly. Cocky bastard.

I moaned. “Mmhmm, something I love to lick whenever I can.” I turned around and gave him a seductive smile. I heard him groan and saw something twitch. “I can't wait to eat the candy your mom made. Just looking at it on your desk is making me want to eat it right now.”

I laughed at his angered face. “That's what you get for teasing me. You know how I love the way your stomach looks.” I rolled my eyes, already knowing he had a cocky grin on. “Oh wipe that grin off your face and finished getting dressed.

We all managed to get dressed and gathered in front of the garage with two minutes to spare.

None of us held in our gasps of surprise, the garage was filled with all the outdoor decorations you could imagine. A giant Santa sled, reindeer, elves, a metal swirly Christmas tree that lights up, snowmen, lights to hang up in the windows. It was like the North Pole threw up in there... twice!

“Oh shit!” I gasped. They really went out this year.

“Damn, you guys weren't kidding were you?” Rosalie asked. We shook our heads. “Well I'm ready for this, what about you brother?” She asked Jasper.

“Nothing could make me leave my little darlin',” he said in his Texas twang. I've been to Texas and the people I ran into never talked like that. Makes me wonder where he picked up that accent.

When he started talking, I finally noticed his costume and started laughing. He and Alice were dressed as elves. Alice was dressed in a red and green tunic with matching hat, red tights, and pointy shoes. She even had the ears! And Jasper, he was dressed as Buddy the Elf in a light green jacket with white at the collar and cuffs, black belt, and yellow tights. He didn't even need a wig with his hair; it already looked like the real thing. I could barely see the pointy hat he was wearing.

My laughing had the others joining in while Alice pouted.

“Belllaaa... stop laughing. It's not funny. I'm not even short enough to be a damn elf,” she whined. When she mentioned her height, I snorted.

“Alicceee,” I mocked. “You're barely a few inches taller than an elf.” She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

She was about to respond when a whistle rang out.

We turned around and saw Carlisle in the life size Santa sleigh.

“You know Emmett and Edward and Jasper and Rosalie. Alice and Bella. But do you recall the most famous of all?” Carlisle sang out. Oh.. my.. God. I stared wide eyed at the scene. Now we're reindeer? What the hell?

“Esme!” he screamed out. She came prancing out of the house with a red light on her nose and antlers on her head. Then I noticed the bag she was carrying extras for us. I groaned. It was bad enough already with the costumes we were wearing.

Carlisle continued to sing his version of 'Rudolph the red-nosed Reindeer' and hinted that we were supposed to bring him and the sleigh to the front yard.

Once we were lined up the weak in the front, I glared at Edward and he smiled sheepishly. I had wanted to stay at my house this year, but Edward said they were going to tone it down. Yeah he's so going to owe me a full body massage after this.

As Esme made her way to the very front, since she is Rudolph, Carlisle yelled “Onward!” and we started dragging the sleigh through the snow to the front of the house.

I looked around to see if people were staring. So far we were in the clear. I really didn't want to be seen as a reindeer.

It took us nearly twenty minutes to drag the sleigh from point A to point B. When we got there, Carlisle jumped out and started passing out carrots to each of us. I glared at him when he reached me and he just ignored it and pushed it into my mouth and patting me on my head like I'm a damn pet.

I ripped it from my mouth and started breaking it into pieces and throwing them on the ground. I freaking hate carrots.

Esme and Emmett gladly ate their carrots and I have no idea what the others did with theirs. I'm assuming Emmett ate theirs.

So the sleigh was done, now it was time to get our assigned jobs.

Alice and I got the placement of the snowmen and the animated reindeer to place around the yard. Edward and Jasper were going to help Carlisle with the Light-O-Rama and set up the system up for the Christmas song that I had picked out. I had chosen a song by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra “Christmas Eve in Sarajevo”. I knew that the lights flashing to the song was going to be beautiful.

Emmett and Rosalie were going to hang up the lights along the house and the fence. I had no idea what Esme was going to be doing, but I bet she'll be overlooking everything like she usually does.

Instead of carrying a piece at a time, Alice and I carried things together. It was faster and left us with more energy than if we'd struggled separately.

We groaned and grunted picking up the reindeer. They were metal adding on the additional weight with the lights. It took us nearly fifteen back and forth trips, and four hours to finally finish and make sure everything was plugged in correctly.

Esme saw that we were done and handed us each homemade cookies and cold milk. I sat down on the nearby bench and Alice followed. The front yard looked pretty amazing. Rosalie had finished stringing the lights on the fence and was helping Emmett place the final lights on the roof of the house.

I snickered when I took in their costumes. Emmett looked like a floating peppermint on the ladder. It was hysterical and Rosalie had the candy cane pose down when she handed him lights. Esme picked out the craziest costumes.

Jasper was bringing the swirly Christmas trees to the right corner of the yard. I squinted towards the garage and saw Carlisle and Edward still looking at the light machine. I saw Edward plug in something and the machine turned on. He and Carlisle high-fived each other before coming outside.

I knew Carlisle loved it when I saw the sparkle from way over on the other side of the yard.

He called out for us and motioned for all of us to gather in front of the garage.

I walked straight to Edward wrapping my arms around him. I felt him kiss my head and hug me tighter. All the others were in similar poses.

“Has everyone finished what was assigned?” Carlisle asked. We all nodded. “Wonderful! It's too early to try the lights. We'll have dinner and then decorate the Christmas tree. By then it should be time to light up.”

We followed him and Esme inside eager to get into the warmth of the house.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dinner was great as usual. Steak with macaroni, mashed potatoes, and a salad. Not much was spoken during dinner. I had a feeling we were famished from all the hard work we'd done.

Esme sent the boys to the attic after dinner to bring down the Christmas tree and decorations while the girls found a place for the tree. After looking around the room, we was decided that the tree would be placed right next to the front window.

The tree was dressed and lighted a couple hours later. It was time to start the show.

The town started a tradition with a decoration competition when Carlisle and the Newtons got into it a few years ago. No one had the guts to try and take them down, but they still participated, so we weren't surprised when there was a group walking down the street.

Edward told me to upload the song into the laptop in the garage. I didn't let anyone know what song I'd chosen. I wanted it to be a secret. Once I had it set, I went to stand with the family. I nodded to Carlisle and he turned to face the crowd that was anxiously waiting.

They quieted down when he turned. It always amazed me that this wannabe Santa could look so different in the presence of others. He commanded attention with his golden hair and facial structure he shared with Edward.

“Ladies and gentlemen... kids. I want to thank you for stopping by. My family and I have been hard at work to make this show the best it could be. I hope you enjoy it. Usually I am the one that flips the switch, but this year I want my future daughter-in-law to light it up.”

I gasped in shock. I looked up at him and he smiled warmly. I turned to Edward and he gave me a kiss that made me blush.

I quickly made my way to Carlisle and grabbed the switch. I took a deep breath before flipping it.

All the lights fluttered on and dimmed so the real show could start. The front fence blinked with the opening notes of Sarajevo. Then the lights followed moving along unanimously. It was beautiful.

I could hear the excitement behind me. I looked at my family's faces and they were glowing.

The tune started to slow down at the :37 second mark. I couldn't wait for it to hit forty. It was my favorite part. You think it's going to stop, but suddenly it blares and the notes move faster.

You get lost in the motion of the lights. I heard the squeals when it scared some people.

When the crescendo came, the lights lit from the bottom up. Just amazing. Next, the lights on the house light up in three sections before moving to the trees and fence.

The climax of the song was amazing. The whole house lit up as well as the yard. It was like the house was throbbing with during an earthquake.

Towards the end, the house flickered and blinked before it turned off with the music. It was silent for a few minutes before the clapping and screams started.

I was picked up, hugged, and dizzy by the time I made it to Edward.

“So..,” I drawled out. “Did I do good?” I asked him. Even though I heard the praise, it still wasn't going through my thick head.

He shook his head. “Did you do good? What kind of question is that? Love, you did a magnificent job of choosing the song. Now, Carlisle is going to choose you to pick the song each year.” He laughed at my groan. I didn't think I could go through all the pressure yearly.

I gave the switch back to Carlisle when he and Esme grabbed me in a group hug. They told me thanks and saying it was perfect. I finally believed that I'd done great. A few people took turns starting the show.

No one stood a chance next to our show. Carlisle and Esme were awarded “Brightest House in Forks” for the first time. They handled their golden Christmas tree carefully and placed it on the mantel. It fit so well there.

What a great way to start the holidays.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that night

Edward asked if I wanted to stay the night with him and I agreed. We fell asleep in no time after a shower.

I woke up around midnight thirty, and made my way downstairs to get a cup of milk and maybe a cookie if Emmett and Alice hadn't eaten them all.

I heard a noise just as I passed the living room. I grabbed the broom next to me and slowly made my way in. I heard bells clinking and turned towards the tree.

“Carlisle!” I gasped in surprise. He was under the Christmas tree wearing the Santa hat he'd worn all day. He just smiled at me and stared. I had a feeling he was a bit drunk off of the eggnog Esme had made before we lit the lights. “What are you doing under the Christmas tree?”

He laughed. “Oh I'm just waiting for Esme.”

Oh... he was stuck. I started to make my way over there when he held out a hand as if to stop me. I looked at him curiously.

“Um.. I'm not exactly decent right now.” I immediately covered my eyes and turned away. I didn't even notice he wasn't wearing anything.

“Oh! I... umm.. I'll just go back-” I was cut off when I collided with something soft. I uncovered my eyes, wishing that I kept them shut.

I'd run into Esme, who was wearing a red satin negligee lined in white fur, red heels, and a Santa hat.

I blushed. “Sorry, Esme. I was just heading upstairs. Night!” I squeaked running out of the room. I heard them laugh and say something I wished I was out of earshot for.

Esme moaned. “Ooh Santa, I've been a very good girl this year. Do you have my present with you?” Oh God. I'm going to be sick.

Carlisle answered in a husky voice. “Yes. I have your yule log right-”

I covered my ears and pushed my legs faster back to Edward's room. I must've slammed the door too hard because Edward shot up. We took one look at me and groaned.

“Are they at it already?” he asked, wiping his eyes.

“They do that every year?” I shrieked. He nodded. “And you couldn't have warned me?” I growled at him.

He laughed. “They usually don't do it this early. Though I'm glad that I didn't catch them in the act this year. Alice caught them last year and wouldn't look at them for months. What did you see?”

I shook my heard. “Nothing really. Your father was under the tree naked, though I didn't see anything. And I bumped into your mom wearing-”

I was cut off when he covered my mouth with his hand.

“Please don't scar me for life,” he said desperately. “I do not need that image in my head.”

I snorted.

“That's not even the worst part. There was talking when I was leaving the room.” He groaned and pulled me into bed.

“No more talking about them. I just want to sleep and forget how risqué they are,” he mumbled into my neck. I was already getting sleepy, my thirst forgotten.

I didn't bother answering. Instead I just snuggled closer and drifted asleep dreaming of the perfect light show that I'd helped put together.